1 club, 3 groups, and Leroy Brown
How do you do those stupid gigs. Man the people, noisy, yelling, drunk. You know the type, a bunch of guys screaming in the corner. Screaming everything they're saying. Laughing at everything.
People asking for the dumbest tunes ever, and you have to look back and smile and explain to them that you're a 'jazz' band. They don't get it, they just look back wondering why you're NOT talented enough to play 'Leroy Brown'. You could tell them you're much more talented then that, in fact to show them how talented you are you'll play 'Giant Steps' for them. Then they won't get it. They'll just look back and want they're stupid tune. On a gig once a guy asked for 'Feelings' I said we couldn't do it. He looked back with a F*&^ck you tone and said 'Oh yeah, my brother can play it'.
If it's my gig I usually try and say that a tune has a price. Like ok, Leroy Brown is a 75 dollar tune. Give me 75 bucks and I'll play your stupid tune, you stupid idiot. That way you can make some money. One night I pulled in another 180 bucks for the band doing that. It was a trio so the bread was cool. the music sucked.
One of my friends just got a permit for a gun. If I would have that gun, I'd probably use the gun on a gig like that. It makes sense to me. The judge would totally understand, wouldn't he?
I'd say, 'You're honor, we were playing jazz, really pretty stuff, having a good time. Then this drunk asshole came up to us and asked for Leroy Brown. So I shot him, in the head'. The judge would shake his head and say 'Yeah, what an asshole', and then just tell me to be careful where I play. I'd go home and the world would be a better place.
Shit if we can go to Iraq and kill people why can't musicians kill stupid people who ask for stupid songs!
In fact to make things worse, the clubowner triple booked the gig!!! I see my buddy in the parking lot and he tells me they were booked, but since the piano player (my group) came from far away the club owner was giving them the gig.
However there was yet a third group there. A single piano player. She told him to go home cause the piano player I was playing for came the farthest (nice way to decide who gets the gig). That piano player started to cry!!! So she let him stay and play on the deck outside. So cry when your band is double booked. Maybe get the whole band to cry.
Hey this club owner booked bands by writing the names on a sticky and putting it on the date in the calendar. So what happens when the sticky falls off and she doesn't notice it?? She books the gig AGAIN. That's what happens and that's what she told my buddies band. She said she thinks she's going to have to get another system. She's real smart.
Menawhile the place is packed, parking lot full and one band is going home without money. Some bozo who was crying about losing a gig is playing on the deck outside. I'm working with this really nice talented piano playing inside trying to explain to people that we're just playing jazz, no we can't ACDC tunes.
2005 and someone is requesting 'Leroy Brown'.
Oh yeah, we were in Jersey, my home state.
People asking for the dumbest tunes ever, and you have to look back and smile and explain to them that you're a 'jazz' band. They don't get it, they just look back wondering why you're NOT talented enough to play 'Leroy Brown'. You could tell them you're much more talented then that, in fact to show them how talented you are you'll play 'Giant Steps' for them. Then they won't get it. They'll just look back and want they're stupid tune. On a gig once a guy asked for 'Feelings' I said we couldn't do it. He looked back with a F*&^ck you tone and said 'Oh yeah, my brother can play it'.
If it's my gig I usually try and say that a tune has a price. Like ok, Leroy Brown is a 75 dollar tune. Give me 75 bucks and I'll play your stupid tune, you stupid idiot. That way you can make some money. One night I pulled in another 180 bucks for the band doing that. It was a trio so the bread was cool. the music sucked.
One of my friends just got a permit for a gun. If I would have that gun, I'd probably use the gun on a gig like that. It makes sense to me. The judge would totally understand, wouldn't he?
I'd say, 'You're honor, we were playing jazz, really pretty stuff, having a good time. Then this drunk asshole came up to us and asked for Leroy Brown. So I shot him, in the head'. The judge would shake his head and say 'Yeah, what an asshole', and then just tell me to be careful where I play. I'd go home and the world would be a better place.
Shit if we can go to Iraq and kill people why can't musicians kill stupid people who ask for stupid songs!
In fact to make things worse, the clubowner triple booked the gig!!! I see my buddy in the parking lot and he tells me they were booked, but since the piano player (my group) came from far away the club owner was giving them the gig.
However there was yet a third group there. A single piano player. She told him to go home cause the piano player I was playing for came the farthest (nice way to decide who gets the gig). That piano player started to cry!!! So she let him stay and play on the deck outside. So cry when your band is double booked. Maybe get the whole band to cry.
Hey this club owner booked bands by writing the names on a sticky and putting it on the date in the calendar. So what happens when the sticky falls off and she doesn't notice it?? She books the gig AGAIN. That's what happens and that's what she told my buddies band. She said she thinks she's going to have to get another system. She's real smart.
Menawhile the place is packed, parking lot full and one band is going home without money. Some bozo who was crying about losing a gig is playing on the deck outside. I'm working with this really nice talented piano playing inside trying to explain to people that we're just playing jazz, no we can't ACDC tunes.
2005 and someone is requesting 'Leroy Brown'.
Oh yeah, we were in Jersey, my home state.
posted by Tony @ 9:04 AM
1 Comments:
At 2:07 PM,
Tony said…
oh man it sucks when you play the frickin song and then someone comes up who wasn't paying attention and now has a hint of the song in their brain. and they ask for the song you just played!
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